I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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