when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
