so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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