i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Randomize
