Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
