what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
