Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Are we still banned from the library?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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