hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
