The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
