Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
