You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
