Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
we're so committed to being not committed
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
