I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize