great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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