well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
