dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
