i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The struggles of a small town man whore
BRING THE BAGELS
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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