Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
