No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
