You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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