my soul wont recognize me after tonight
ugly people sure do ruin things
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Randomize
