dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Holy sore nipples Batman
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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