i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
