Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
