roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
