Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
