At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i will never coherently bang her
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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