It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You don't make any sense
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