If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
