Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
