The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
