I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
