I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
