First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
