That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I intend to get homeless drunk
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
