Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
