and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
What a dumb baby whore.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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