FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
