Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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