Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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