Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
