evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
