I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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