I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
This baby is an asshole
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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