clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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