you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
