Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
