Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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