I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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