when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize