the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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