Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
