thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
