break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
