I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
