whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize