he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
