It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize