my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
