where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
