Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
