think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I think I am morally bankrupt
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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